Isn’t it selfish to focus only on my own joy and happiness?
I am often asked this, and told that what I teach must encourage selfishness. Not a bit of it.
Here’s an analogy – you’re on a plane waiting for take off and a crew member advises you what to do in an emergency. Oxygen masks will drop from above and those with children must place one over their own mouth first, then take care of their child. If you don’t, and in the chaos lose consciousness, what possible use could you be to the one dependent on you?
If we take care of ourselves first, and establish our own happiness then we are much nicer people to be around. We’re kinder and gentler to others, we have more of ourselves and our time to share and we inspire those around us to be joyful. Isn’t that how you would like to be for others?
Think of a day when you’ve been really stressed, anxious, and feeling like the present situation is just too much to bear. How have you reacted to those around you?
Now think of a day when everything went well for you, the sun shone on everything you were doing and all your plans worked out. How did you respond to family, friends and colleagues? And didn’t they all feel good in your company too?
So taking care of ourselves first is a gift we give not just to ourselves but to all those we care about. And we shine that light on everyone we encounter. What better way to live your life?
Is this life coaching?
There are similarities. Life coaching has become hugely popular and can be very useful for identifying your goals and steering a course through life to achieve them. But what I teach, and have spent many years learning, goes deeper.
It’s about learning what you do and why you do it, and how things keep playing out in your life the way they do. With greater understanding of ourselves and what has shaped us, change and growth can happen more easily.
I am also more of a mentor than a coach as I’ve been around quite some time now. So I can bring experience and perspective to whatever situation needs to be understood.
Is this touchy freely spiritual stuff?
Yes we work on the spiritual aspect of who you are, but not in any religious or evangelical way. We help to identify what makes you truly you, and how you connect to the inner being beyond your mind. It’s practical application, and I’m not here to influence your spiritual beliefs in any way.
The definition that reflects how I feel about it is “Spirituality is a connection to every living force in nature and the Universe. This connection provides unlimited resources and a sense of being complete.”
If I take the eight part course how much work will I have to do?
As one of my clients said at the end of week two “I’ve realised now that I can’t just fit this work into ten minutes before bed, because if I do I’m not taking in all you’re showing me.”
The more time you can spend on the exercises and reflecting on what they are helping you to understand the better. But day to day life, families and work can be very demanding so I understand that this isn’t easy. Two to three hours a week is the base line, spread through the week.
If you know you may struggle to keep up once a week you can take a fortnight between each meeting on Skype and spread the work a little more. But be mindful that there is a temptation to think – I’ve got two weeks, I don’t need to look at it yet, and it ends up being squeezed into the last few days. So think about what would work best for you.